Please Kill Me
by Lucillia
Summary: When a defeated Obito finds himself in the past, he has only one request.


Obito had finally had the crap kicked out of him by Naruto, which naturally had done what would have taken several therapists thousands of hours of daily therapy to do. Of course, it being an incredibly epic fight, that last punch had knocked Obito into the past as well.

Obito frowned when he came to. The right side of his body hurt like hell.

Oh, he was under a rock. That explained it.

"Rin." he called out hoping against hope.

And, there she was, his angel, kneeling next to him, peering down at him in concern.

"Yes, Obito?" Rin asked, choking back a sob.

"When you give Kakashi my eye, please kill me." he said.

"Wha-...Why?" Rin asked, sounding shocked.

"Because if you don't I'm going to be trapped in a cave with Madara, and he's not going to let me out until I agree to help him recreate the Jyuubi and turn the moon into a giant eye so we can put the whole world under a genjutsu, and then he's gonna die, and it'll take me nearly a week for me to figure out how to get out, and I'll be stuck there with his rotting corpse. Madara's creepy, and old, and he's got roots growing out of his back, and I thought he was going to molest me the entire time I was there. Even after he was dead I kept looking over my shoulder." Obito said, amazed he managed to get all that out, but then again, when he was a kid, he used to be able to say a great deal in only one breath. It had hurt like hell though.

"What's wrong with him?" Kakashi asked, looking at him in uncharacteristic concern.

"He's delirious." Rin said, looking as if she was going to start crying any second.

"I'm not delirious." he half yelled, half moaned. "When the transplant's done, I want you to kill me. If you can't do that, then use that kunai thing to get Sensei here and have him kill me."

"Why would you want sensei to kill you?" Rin asked, not even making a move for the eye she was supposed to be giving Kakashi.

"Because if he doesn't, I'll do Madara's bidding and kill Kushina, and make him kill himself sealing the Kyuubi into Naruto." he choked out between coughs, as he felt his breath grow short.

Beside him, Kakashi was looking at the special kunai that Minato-sensei had given him.

"How does this thing...?" Kakashi said as he turned the Kunai over in his hands, examining it from every angle.

"You throw it." he said.

Kakashi, who was still in shock, weakly hurled the kunai at a nearby rock. Namikaze Minato, who had been wrapping up his battle, appeared much as he would have an hour later when Kakashi, who was recovering from his eye transplant, would've run out of weapons during his fight with the Iwa nin and would've been forced to use his shiny new Jounin present if the timeline hadn't been changed.

It took Minato, who was in attack-mode when he appeared, a couple seconds to process the scene, and in those two seconds, Kakashi, Rin, and a nearby rock barely escaped death.

"Holy Shit." Minato said when he caught sight of Obito who was trapped under a massive boulder.

"Sensei" cough. "Once Rin's" cough. "Done giving Kakashi my" cough. "Eye. Please kill me." he said.

"Why?" his sensei, who had been giving him a sad look, asked.

"Obito's delirious." Rin said. "He seems to think that he's going to survive, and be trapped in a cave with Uchiha Madara, who's going to molest him."

"Why would he think that?" Minato-sensei asked, sounding stunned.

"I'm" cough. "From the" cough "Future." he replied.

"I see." his sensei said in a tone that clearly said that he didn't see.

"So, how do you survive this?" his sensei asked, apparently trying to keep him focused and with him, and willing to say anything to do so.

"Madara." he choked out. "Now" cough. "Hurry up" cough "and give Kakashi" cough "My eye" cough "and kill me".

"Rin." Minato-sensei said, giving the team's medic a significant look.

"But sensei..." Rin started.

"Obito wants you to give Kakashi his eye." Minato-sensei said.

"But he's..." Rin started.

"Fine." she said after another look from Minato-sensei.

All too soon, his eye was out and in Kakashi's head. As he turned to beg Minato-sensei to kill him, the damn Iwa nins showed up, and there was a fight. In the middle of the fight there was a further cave-in.

As he was blacking out, he could hear Rin screaming his name, and all he could think was _Dammit._

* * *

All too soon, the Kannabi bridge was destroyed, and it was time for what was left of Team Minato to make their way back to Konoha. An idle thought about Obito had automatically set Minato to checking for the mark he had placed on the boy shortly before he died on the incredibly remote chance that Obito really had been from the future and was telling the truth.

"Well, I'll be damned." Minato said a second later.

"What is it sensei?" Rin asked.

"Obito's mark moved." he replied. "Be back in a second."

* * *

Obito screamed when he awoke to find himself looking up at Old Madara once more. The dude looked just as much like a pedophile as he had the first time. Great, and he'd thought he'd gotten over this when he'd had a thousand hours of therapy packed into a long-winded self-righteous lecture and a couple of firm smacks to the head.

As he was contemplating agreeing to help Madara with his plans there and then just to get him to shut up about them because he couldn't take another several months of having nothing to listen to but what Madara would do to the world when he got him out of here by killing him and resurrecting him later, he saw what had to be absolutely the most beautiful thing in the world...Minato-sensei's foot.

"I think I'll be taking my student and leaving now." Minato-sensei said a second before he grabbed him and flashed away with him, re-appearing in the emergency room of the Konoha hospital.

"Well." Madara said the instant after what was supposed to have been his new protege had vanished. "Isn't this wonderful. I'm all alone again with no-one to talk to but the Hashirama tree."

"Hello Hashirama tree. How are you today?"

"Fine, fine. And, how are the kids?"


End file.
